sun-day

Breakfast: Granola and natural yoghurt.

Lunch (BBQ): 1 burger in a bun with cheese, lettuce and onions, 1 regular sausage on a slice of French bread with onions and ketchup, 1 Bratwurst sausage on 2 slices of French bread with ketchup, half of a marinated pork kebab, 1 glass of 7-up.

Evening: 2 bites of banana and a handful of grapes.

It was another beautiful day; not quite as sunny but beautiful, warm and dry nonetheless. I cycled everywhere. I'm still crapping myself (not literally you understand), and my arse hurts a lot, but I'm enjoying it.

The husband unit and I ate a small breakfast at 9am. Lunch was at 2pm, and I was absolutely ravenous. I ate far too much and spent the afternoon feeling ill, bloated and regretful.

I struggle to write in-depth here about the emotional battles of ED. I don't even know if I can do it now. But I decided today, while having a late afternoon "nap" that I would use the BBQ as a learning experience. When I am very hungry, I should eat one thing and pause for ten minutes. If I find I am still hungry, I can eat a serving of something else. I do not need to leap in and grab as much as possible as fast as possible. What I did today was not emotional eating, it was habitual. I stuffed myself because I was extremely hungry, and did not listen to the signals of my body telling me that it had had enough, long before I stopped eating. As a result I felt ill and worse, regretful. Every incidence of over-eating acts like a trigger for me.

Anyway, new dawn new day and all that.