So I attended yet another party last night. I seem to be at a couple of parties every weekend. The Husband Unit is out of town so I was flying solo. It was fun - lots of chatting and wine - and lots of finger food.
I ate (deep breath):
Many Indian-themed snacks (mini bhajis etc.), a large handful of nachos with a delicious guac/tomato/cheddar dip, lots of crudites (carrots, cucumber, peppers) and 2 small slices of cake - 1 slice of birthday cake and 1 slice of black forest gateaux. Everything was good except for the cakes. I didn't enjoy them (they tasted artificial) but I kept operating the spoon to mouth action until my plate was empty. I also had two glasses of wine.
This evening I have visitors arriving from the UK for a few days. I need to get this sty cleaned up. I've made a list of household duties and I intend to cross them off one by one. I already have the first few items covered:
1. Get dressed.
2. Eat breakfast and read blogs.
3. Put on loud music.
Sure I'm practically halfway there!
My breakfast this morning (which I am still eating) is pumpkin apple oats with jam and peanut butter. I went grocery shopping late last night after the party to stock up on nice things for the visitors. I noticed a change in myself while filling up my basket though. In the past I have always used guests as a reason to overeat, and to eat the wrong kinds of foods. Now don't hear me attaching moral values to certain foods - I genuinely believe no food is "bad" - there's room for a little of everything. But when these friends have visited in the past I have bought nachos, crisps, chocolate, sweets and lots of alcohol - to "make sure they'd enjoy themselves". Actually it was really to make sure I'd enjoy myself. Last night I made sure we had lots of fresh fruits, nice breads, a wide variety of vegetables, salad materials and sandwich stuff and then of course the ingredients for some tasty dinners. I am hoping we can barbecue but the weather is taking a turn for the worse.
Anyway, I suppose I'd better go cross off some of the less enjoyable things on my list: "de-louse couch," "unblock bathroom," "bleach beds" etc. Ta-ra!
Breakfast: 1 egg, 2 slices of wholewheat toast; one with butter, one with peanut butter and a little raspberry jam.
Lunch: Small wrap with light cheddar, ham and sliced onion. Handful mange tout. Small pot Glenisk yoghurt with blueberries.
Dinner: Apple and pumpkin oats with cinnamon, raisins and peanut butter.
I made the apple and pumpkin oats by steaming some peeled and chopped apples and butternut squash, and then making a puree. I added the puree to the oats as they were cooking, with some milk, water, cinnamon and raisins, and then topped with the peanut butter. Yum.
Well yesterday was a good day. My very stressed-out husband finally completed his last exam...so eight papers and seven exams later, he is done. We went out together for a celebratory lunch, and then headed a few hours north to catch a gig that our friend played at in Lisburn. It was not the most nutritionally sound day I've ever had - as soon as I am separated from my usual routines and plans it becomes difficult either to make positive choices or as happened last night, find positive options!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 slice wholewheat toast.
Celebratory Lunch: Half a starter portion of nachos, followed by just over half a main course portion of very spicy chilli con carne, which was topped with chopped peppers, onions, scallions, tomatoes and cheese and served with corn salad (all of which I ate) and Mexican rice (I ate one tablespoon) and refried beans (which I did not eat, because they resemble poo).
Snack: Cup of Butlers hot chocolate.
Dinner: Half a portion of chips!
Snacks at the gig: 2 cups of coffee, 2 rice krispie chocolate squares, a handful of marshmallows dipped in chocolate.
I have hives all over the place, presumably from all the sugar in the afternoon and evening. scratchyscratch
The Husband Unit is now away for a few days for a stag (that's bachelor to the US readers) party where they are canoeing out to a small island for some barbecuing, drinking, swimming, hiking etc. It sounds so good that I wish I were going. Meanwhile here I have a party to go to tonight (and another tomorrow night) and two friends flying in from the UK for the next four days. Lots of things to look forward to, and lots of things to do to get ready. And yet here I sit in my pyjamas at lunch time, drinking coffee...
Edit: I forgot to add that I will be starting therapy with an eating distress therapist one-on-one next week, as well as Group Therapy. This won't be the first bout of counselling I've ever engaged in but it will be the first time I have ever talked with a professional about what's really going on with me in terms of the eating disorder. I am very anxious about all the layers of complexity being uncovered, but I am choosing to trust these guys...so far the support from the clinic has been invaluable. I also have an appointment with the nutritionist the following week, and I am just as nervous about that. As I was explaining to a friend last night, I feel like I am finally understanding what it is to eat well for my body without dieting and I am so concerned that there will be a list of "dos and don'ts" from this nutritionist that might re-awaken the sleeping diet mentality in me...but my fears are ridiculous, because this nutritionist is a specialist with eating distress and she will already know in advance how insane my food-related thinking is! So, yes. I thought I'd divulge that. I'll let you know how I get on.
So the scales read 236.8 this morning which is a loss of 0.8lbs this week. I was surprised it was such a small loss - the scale was giving out lower readings for the last few days, but I am trying not to be a slave to the tyranny of the scale. :) You can't gain a pound in a day - not really. You'd have to ingest an extra 3500 calories to do that (I definitely didn't ingest 3500 surplus calories yesterday). I ate more than usual this week though, and I exercised a little less than usual (the Husband Unit had a calf injury so I lost my gym buddy, which makes the gym less fun, and I only like to exercise if it's fun).
HOWEVER. I am no longer "severely obese" as according to the BMI chart: I am merely "obese" now. Next goal - merely overweight! :D So overall I am actually extremely pleased with this week's result!
This is also the first week where I have felt and seen a genuine difference in my body. The Husband Unit has been commenting on it too. It's funny that that coincides with my smallest loss to date. All of my clothes are becoming loose enough that they will need to be replaced soon. That is both a positive and a negative. I have little or no spare cash for new clothes, but it's good that a change is needed. :)
Tá an ghrian ag taitneamh go hard sa spéir - the sun is shining brightly in the sky. The Husband Unit will complete his seventh exam for his college course this morning - seventh and final. We're off to enjoy ourselves for the day. S'long waifs!
Lunch: Vegetable soup, and most of a chicken, lettuce and tomato panini.
Snack: Small ice-cream cone.
Dinner: More barbecue! I ate 1 small fillet of salmon with a little lemon butter, 1 pork sausage, half of a white hot-dog bun, grilled onions, grilled red peppers, a large handful of mixed salad (spinach, mixed Italian leaves, tomato and scallion) and half of 1 baby potato. Dessert was mixed berries and a tablespoon of ice cream.
Ice cream! Twice in one day! I didn't even notice. It was irresistible in this sunshine.
I got another rejection letter: sigh. Tis better than silence!
So there are lots of things going on in me, but as usual I am utterly incapable of putting them into words while they're happening, so any remaining readers (I don't know if anyone's reading) will have to continue to wait for anything interesting, as right now all I seem capable of is parroting my food intake.
One good thing: I was watching The Simpsons last night - it was Season 7, Episode 7 - "King Size Homer" - it's a classic. It's the one where Homer decides to gain 61lbs so that he can legally be considered disabled in order to work from home. He weighs 239lbs at the beginning of his journey so I was overjoyed to see that I currently weigh less than Homer Simpson. Something to be proud of folks!
Breakfast: 2 eggs, 1 slice brown toast, coffee.
Lunch: 140g prawns in a tomato and garlic sauce with 40g spaghetti.
Snack I: 30g natural liquorice.
SnackII: Handful mange-tout.
Dinner: Chicken burger with lettuce and red onion, and a small portion of oven chips. Mixed fruits (raspberries, blackberries, blackcurrants, blueberries, mandarin and apple) for dessert.