I'm in a hurry, as I've promised the husband-unit that he can have a precious hour or so with me before I abandon him tonight for the joys of our church teen sleepover. Food so far has been carb-tastic with few fruits and vegetables:
Breakfast: Bagel with ham and cheese.
Lunch: Vegetable soup with half a chicken and brie panini (we were at a restaurant).
Dinner: (Not yet eaten) Leftovers from yesterday - more bolognese.
Snacks: None so far, but I've packed a bag with blueberries, strawberries, grapes, cheese and melon to take with me to tonight, to give both me and the kids a healthy option apart from all of the crisps and sweets.
Emotions: Stable, but a binge-craving did rise between 11.30 and 12.30.
In the vein of giving myself kudos, I'd like to announce all of today's positive achievements:
(1) Got up on time to have breakfast and prayer with that guy, whatshisname.
(2) Made it to the church prayer meeting at 8 a.m.
(3) Had a phone interview for a job working with children on the autism spectrum, and secured a face to face interview for Thursday of next week.
(4) Completed the application form (finally) for the H.Dip. in Theology that I am hoping to begin next September (it's an evening course).
(5) Had lunch with my friend's parents who are here from the U.S. for a few days.
(6) Left my newly inherited bicycle into the bike repair shop for a full service and to have a new saddle fitted. Whoo! Soon I will be able to ride away into the horizon, getting smaller and smaller as I disappear into the sunset, and you all look on, waving handkerchiefs and crying.
(7) Purchased many delicious things for later (as listed above).
(8) Wrote a blog entry (I'm presuming I'll manage to finish this one).
*gives self standing ovation*
The sun is shining but there wasn't time to get in a good walk. I think I'll pack the football and the frisbee and see if I can tempt any of the teenagers to have a game for the last hour or so of daylight this evening; our venue for the sleepover is a beautiful country home with lots of space outside.
I think I feel really good for the first time in a while. Having had time to reflect on the group therapy a little more, going again next week seems like a less scary prospect. I expect I'll be a little emotional again, and it's going to take some time before I can talk about the eating distress without being upset, but I want to go back.
One of the things our group therapist said on Tuesday (and she maintains this in her book, too) is that eating distress begins long before the symptoms (obsessing, starving, dieting, binging and purging) appear. At first I thought she was completely wrong, and imagined that my binging problem developed out of indulgent eating habits. Then, out of the blue, a series of suppressed childhood memories surfaced of me as a seven or eight year old (skinny, I might add) hiding biscuits in my bedroom to eat later when nobody was around. So I guess she's right.
Anyway, that, and many other things that she said, have given me FOOD for thought. Something CHEW on. Hahahahahahahaha! *collapses from pun hysteria*
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