Me and the husband had prayer and breakfast together as usual this morning. He made eggs. One of my prayers today was that I could begin to learn to live each day one at a time. Let me give you an example of how a mind obsessed with food works.
Husband-Unit bought me a little Easter egg last weekend. It's sitting tucked away in a room we don't use much, with my drum-kit and the Christmas decorations. Every now and then my mind wanders to it. Now, you may think it's normal to crave a bit of chocolate when it's in the house, but this is different. It's not that I'm dying to eat it now (sort of). The problem is that I know we are going to eat our eggs on Easter Sunday, and that's where my mind keeps wandering. I keep having small, pathetic fantasies where I fast forward to Easter Sunday, have a cup of tea, put on a great movie and enjoy my egg. Someone save me from myself!
That little fantasy probably takes up a few minutes of every day. I suppose it is because I associate foods like chocolate with complete happiness...even though experience (and rationale ffs) tells me that this is not true.
So today I prayed that these frequent and bizarre little food fantasies would evaporate, so that I can enjoy today and everything that today entails, and not be stuck in some ridiculous limbo where I wait for the Nirvana of an Easter egg that will inevitably fail to fulfill me...
Ah, being insane is difficult at times. Still, the music's not bad.
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